i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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