Umm I'm too high to move.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
