I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize