Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
