I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
