First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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