is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
