Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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