I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
