put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
