why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
