I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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