thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
