Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
