i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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