Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
