i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
