he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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