Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
