i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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