I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
