Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can tuck mytits in my pants
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
