Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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