I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
