Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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