is your mom at the bar?
babies were throwing up all over the place
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
