I puked a lego.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sacagawea was the original milf.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
