I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So apparently I’m into choking now
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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