So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
