I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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