I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
