I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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