What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
