I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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