I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
