I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
