I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
