I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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