i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found your dick twin last night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
