My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
