You can't special order awesome
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
