Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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