windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
