There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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