Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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