Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
