I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
so much tequila, so little girl.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
