i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
