guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
