but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
