Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
